Vietnamese Etiquette: What to Know

Vietnamese people are generally forgiving of foreign visitors who get things slightly wrong. Still, a few baseline habits make a big difference — particularly in family settings, business meetings, and pagodas.

Greetings

• A slight nod or small bow with hands neutral at sides is the default greeting between strangers.
• Handshakes are common in business; two-handed handshakes (clasping with both hands) signal extra respect, usually to someone older or senior.
• Don't initiate a hug or cheek-kiss with someone you've just met.
• A standard polite hello is xin chào (sin chow).

Addressing people

Vietnamese has no general "you." Instead you use kinship-relative pronouns depending on relative age and gender:

You don't need to master the full table to be polite. Just defaulting to anh / chị / cô / chú roughly by visible age signals respect.

Names

Vietnamese names go family-name first, middle, given name last (Nguyễn Văn An). You address someone by their given name with the appropriate kinship title: Anh An, Chị Mai. Using the family name alone (Mr Nguyễn) is wrong — about 40% of all Vietnamese share the family name Nguyễn.

Business cards

Two-handed exchange, look at the card before pocketing it, don't write on it in front of the giver. Standard East Asian conventions apply.

At the table

• The oldest person at the table usually starts eating first; wait for them.
• Use chopsticks for solids; the spoon for soup. Don't stick chopsticks vertically into a rice bowl (it resembles incense at a funeral).
• Sharing dishes is the norm — small portions onto your own bowl, then eat.
• Drinking: when toasted, raise your glass. Một, hai, ba — yô! (one, two, three, cheers) is the standard. Trăm phần trăm means "100%" — drink it all.
• Hosts may continually re-fill your bowl or your glass. Leaving a small amount signals you're full.

In a home

• Remove shoes at the door. There will be a row of shoes; add yours.
• If you bring a gift: fruit, flowers, sweets, or something from your home country are all good. Avoid white flowers (associated with funerals) and gifts of clocks (homophone for "ending" in some contexts).
• Don't sit with feet pointed at people or at the ancestor altar.

In a pagoda or temple

• Shoulders and knees covered.
• Shoes off where indicated.
• Don't point at images or statues with a finger or foot.
• A small donation in the box near the altar is normal.
• Quiet voices.

Hierarchy in workplaces

Vietnamese offices, especially state-sector and traditional private firms, run on age and rank. Defer to seniors; don't disagree publicly with someone older; deliver bad news privately. Younger and tech-sector workplaces are more informal, but the underlying instinct is still hierarchical.

Things that read as rude

• Touching someone's head (even a child's) — heads are spiritually high.
• Pointing with a single finger; use the whole hand.
• Public displays of anger; raising your voice. Loses you face and loses the argument.
• Beckoning palm-up, fingers curling toward you — that's how dogs are called. Beckon palm-down, fingers waving.
• Tipping aggressively in places where it isn't expected (cafés, food stalls). A small tip in a sit-down restaurant is fine.

A note on photos

Ask first when photographing people. Children are usually fine. Adults at work in markets or fields — ask. Ethnic-minority villagers especially — ask, and don't push if they decline.

What it is and why it matters

Vietnamese etiquette is deeply rooted in Confucian values that prioritize respect for age, hierarchy, and family bonds. These rules aren't arbitrary—they reflect centuries of tradition that still govern everything from business boardrooms to family dinners. Understanding them means you're signalling that you respect Vietnamese culture, which opens doors and softens awkward moments far more than perfect pronunciation ever could.

Where to see or experience it

The best place to observe etiquette in action is during family meals in homes or neighbourhood restaurants in Hanoi's Old Quarter and Ho Chi Minh City's District 1, where multi-generational tables follow strict seating and serving customs. Pagodas like Tran Quoc (Hanoi) and Jade Emperor Pagoda (Ho Chi Minh City) are living classrooms for temple behaviour. Markets and street food stalls offer chances to practice respectful photo-asking and greetings with vendors. Business-formal etiquette shows up in hotels, corporate lobbies, and upscale restaurants where servers expect two-handed card exchanges.

Visitor etiquette

• Always remove shoes when entering homes and temples, and wait for your host's signal before sitting—the most senior person chooses first.
• Use full hands for gestures and beckoning; never point a single finger or wave palm-up (it's dog-calling behaviour).
• Let older guests eat first and accept second helpings gracefully—refusing can seem rude; instead leave small amounts on your plate to signal fullness.
• Ask permission before photographing people, especially in rural or ethnic-minority areas; respect a quiet "no."
• Stick to neutral or warm colours for gifts (avoid white flowers and clocks); present and receive gifts with both hands.

Cost and timing

Most etiquette rules are free to practise—they cost only attention. Temples have small donation boxes (10,000–50,000 VND), but nothing is required. Dress code: cover shoulders and knees in pagodas; business-casual (closed-toe shoes, collared shirts) for offices. Best timing: family meals happen around 11:30am and 6:30pm; temples are peaceful early morning or late afternoon.

Related reading

• Temples and Pagodas
• Tet Festival and Lunar Traditions
• Family Structures and Religion